Thursday, November 27, 2014

PSA: The Truth About Turkeys

I posted this on Facebook yesterday, but this information should be made more permanently available, so I'm adding it here as well.  Knowledge is the key to winning the fight against turkeys!

Some of you know i've been going on about how vicious and evil turkeys are ever since i was carjacked by a gang of them a couple years ago. And now something else has come to my attention that further supports my claim about these marauders.

Everybody knows turkeys have a wattle under their neck, but there's also that thing that hangs over their razor-sharp beaks. It's called a snood. And it is quiet possibly the most terrifying animal appendage since the barnacle's John Thomas. And it serves (essentially) the same purpose. It becomes erect when the turkey is... aroused (which can also mean angry and murderous and ready for a carjacking in this sense).

This year, do your bit - EAT TURKEY!
They never slip this valuable public safety notice into that Plymouth Landing story, though, do they?

Apologies if you are stuck with nightmares of being pecked to death by turkeys tonight, but this information is important. And besides, now you've got interesting dinner conversation to unnerve your extended family with! 

Have a look at this page which documents the sequence of turkey snood engorgement.  

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