Guest Spot: Matthew Lang

Today we're kicking off yet another new series here - guest spots!  Our esteemed first guest blogger is Matthew Lang, author of recently released The Way You Are.  Matthew is sharing some writing tips with us and you're going to want to check out his plot generator!  Without further ado, I'll turn it over to Matthew:

Click below to read more:

You’ve read them before. The same interviews over and over again, and if you’re anything like me, you devour every one of them, hoping that somewhere in the midst of the places where inspiration strikes, and tips about how to set up your desk or an indictment to close out all distractions and focus, there’s always one constant. Go and fucking do it—expletive optional. Start today. Come back tomorrow. Pick it up again the day after. And if it feels like you can’t write anything, write a word. One word. And then come back and write two more. And that’ll be three words you wouldn’t have had if you didn’t write them. That’s it. That’s the only secret.

Sometimes, when a writer gets an idea, it bangs into another and he or she or zhe starts finds that one little plot starts spawning other ideas. We call them plot bunnies. When anyone says to me “I don’t have anything to write about,” I find it hard to understand, because I can always pull out something crazy to write about, even if it’s only for a paragraph or two. I don’t know if I can always figure out something awesome to write about that I can turn into a story. And half of the point is that even if it’s bad writing, it’s still writing, and you can learn from it.

But sometimes you don’t feel creative. Sometimes you just wish someone would say ‘hey, write about this’. So, that’s where the following table comes in. Grab your trusty ten sided dice—and six sided dice—and use the following tables to come up with a silly plot to write:

Now if you’re writing gay romance novel, the plot is basically the same. Boy meets boy. Boy and boy are subjected to drama which makes it seem like they might not get and/or stay together. Boy and boy triumph over the adversity and live happily ever after, or at least happily for now. If you’re like me, you like little more to your story than undefined adversity, so I’ve come up with the following formula for a plot idea:

A {profession} meets a {profession} and it is {emotion} at first sight. The two must work together if they are to {challenge}.

Simply roll on the appropriate tables below to fill in blanks to find your custom plot suggestion.

NB: D10 means a ten sided die. D6 means a regular six sided die. D% means roll your ten sided die twice. The first roll is for the tens and the second is the ones—so if the first die comes up six and the second two, you’ve rolled sixty two.

Profession: Roll D%

01-05	Stay at Home Dad
05-06	Royalty, roll a D6: 1-4 Prince, 5 King, 6 Drag Queen.
07-09	Law Enforcement i.e. Cop/Sherriff etc.
10	Undercover Law Enforcement Operative. Roll again to determine what their cover is.
11-15	Cowboy or Farmer
16-17	Lawyer
18-20	Doctor/Nurse or other medical professional
21-25	Childcare worker: Nanny/Daycare/Kindergarten etc.
26-29	Teacher or Academic
30-35	Retail or other casual job
36-38	Office worker—clerical position
39-40	Entrepreneur or Business Executive
41-43	Fighting type: Soldier/Knight/Barbarian/Mercenary
44-45	Scientist
45	Magic User, Shaman or Stage Magician
46-48	Priest or other Holy Figure
49-50	Actor, Dancer, Pop Star, Musician, Circus Performer, etc.
51-52	Professional Athlete.
53-55	Chef/Cook. Roll a D10: 1-      Gourmet. Pick a cuisine 2-      Fast food fry-cook 3-      Baker/Pastry Chef 4-      Vegetarian chef. Does not cook meat. 5-      Molecular Gastronomist 6-      Cheesemaker 7-      Works in a factory processing tinned food. 8-      Owns a mobile food truck. 9-      Barista 10-   Bartender
56-66	Blue collar work, Roll a D10 1-      Cleaner 2-      Factory Worker 3-      Mechanic 4-      Hair Dresser 5-      Garbage Man 6-      Electrician 7-      Plumber 8-      Construction Worker 9-      Independent Shop owner 10-   Truckie
67-68	Engineer
69-70	Government work. Roll a D6: 1-4 Public Servant, 5-6 Politician.
71	Author / Journalist / Librarian
72-73	Criminal, non violent, white collar crime
74	Criminal, violent crime.
75	Witch Hunter or conspiracy nut
76-78	Veterinarian
79	Architect
80	Sex worker
81	Masseur
82	Public Transport Staff
83-85	Designer
86	Fire Fighter
87	Professional Gamer—gambler, esports or game design
88-89	Unemployed
90	Personal Assistant. Roll again to see what industry the character works in.
91	Heir Apparent to a fortune. Roll again to find out what sort.
92	Celebrity. Reroll to find out what sort
93-94	Works two jobs—either part time or moonlighting. Roll twice on this table.
95-00	Student. Roll again to see what they’re studying.

Emotion: Roll a D6

1	Love
2	Lust
3	Attraction
4	Loathing
5	Hatred
6	Antipathy

Challenge, Roll D10

1	Avert the Apocalypse
2	Win the Beauty Pageant
3	Solve the Ancient Riddle of the: (Roll a D6) 1 – Sphinx 2 – Hidden tomb of Emperor Xi Ping 3 – Cabbage Patch 4 – Bug Eyed Monsters living at #2 down the road 5 – Seven Cities of Gold 6 – Locker Room.
4	Defeat the evil: (Roll a D6): 1-      King 2-      Sorcerer 3-      Tyrant 4-      God 5-      Haystack 6-      Bandits
5	Halt the predation of a giant corporation on the environment/less fortunate/defenceless kittens – your choice
6	Find the hidden treasure of the Pharoahs/Gods/Gummi Bears – your choice.
7	Slay the (Roll a D6) 1-      Dragon 2-      Demon 3-      Giant 4-      Horde of zombies 5-      Chicken dinner 6-      Dangerous supernatural entity-Vampire Lord, Alpha Werewolf, Celine Dion, etc.
8	Find a cure for a mysterious disease.
9	Solve a series of murders before the murderer gets them.
10	Escape from the (Roll a D6) 1-      Icy Caverns of Terror 2-      Labyrinth of Doom 3-      Crumbling Space Station of Death 4-      Cruising Sauna 5-      Hedge maze of Bunny Rabbits.

So if I rolled a 58(1), 46, 4, 1, I’d get the following story suggestion.

A cleaner meets a priest and it is loathing at first sight. The two must work together if they are to avert the apocalypse.

Now I just have to flesh it out a bit and write it.

Matthew’s novella The Way You Are can’t actually be rolled up on these tables, but would be described as ‘A business student meets a physiotherapy student and it’s confusion at first sight. The two must work together if they’re going to get Rook’s memory back and win in their fight for justice’.

The Way You Are is available now from Dreamspinner Press.

~*~

Matthew Lang writes behind a desk, in the park, on the tram and sometimes backstage at amateur theatre productions. He has been known to sing and dance in public, analyse the plots of movies and TV shows, and is a confessed Masterchef addict. Over the years he has dabbled in marketing, advertising, event management and the sale of light fittings, but his first love is and has always been that of the written word and is rarely too far from a good book. He likes his men hot and spunky, his mysteries fantastical, his fantasies real and his vampires to combust when exposed to sunlight. Other than that he’s pretty normal. One day we may even take him out of the straight jacket.